RIVAL GOAT FARMERS WHO HATE ONE ANOTHER ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT THEY ARE RIVALS but actually one is in it for the cheese and the other is a soapmaker and then they do a sex omg someone write this plz
THIS IS AN AMAZING IDEA
hey swingsetindecember and @drinkmasturbatecry…
"Look at the list and layout of vendors for the farmers’ market this year Scott! Look at it!" Stiles yelled thrusting some printouts in front of Scott’s face.
"What, I saw them already, we both got great places, me and Kira and Allison are right across from you, for easy paper airplane delivery and cross promotion, we’re both nowhere near the ‘outhouse zone of foul smells and disinterest…these may actually be the best spots we’ve ever had," Scott said looking over the information appraisingly.
"Not what I meant Scott, look at the stall next to mine. Right next to mine,” Stiles said pointing to the name of the vendor situated next to his own ‘All Natural from Got Your Goat.’
Scott looked at the name above his finger and realization dawned.
"Oh man Stiles, that is messed up…"
"I don’t know who messed up with the spot assignment’s, but so long as these clowns are going to be trying to poach my goat cheese loving customers, ‘Hale’s Natural Goat Milk’ is going down.”
"I thought you said that this market was well run and organized to prevent too much competition between vendors," Derek groused to Erica as he slumped against the fence post while Erica cooed to her alpacas inside the pen.
"It is. They always put the other yarn vendors as far apart as possible to make sure things don’t get…combative, apparently there have been incidents in the past where rival candle makers tried to, let’s say, bring light to where no light normally shines," Erica said, patting her favorite new yearling Reginald on the nose. "Not that Boyd and I would ever have to worry about that, as our alpaca products are superior to all others and bring the customers in in droves…"
"Yeah, I’m sure that has nothing to do with you bringing alpacas in for people to pet either," Derek said.
"They’re too cute not to!" Erica shot back as Reginald licked her hand. "So anyway, what’s got your goat?"
"Funny you should use that phrasing…" Derek said darkly as he beckoned Erica over to see how his stall was situated directly to the right of another vendor selling goat milk products. If whoever ran the stall thought they had better goat milk soap than Derek, they had another think coming.
YOU MADE ME SO HAPPY
does derek bring his baby goats (OR KIDS???) and he has them in sweaters he knits?????
of course swingsetindecember :) you know me jen!
The next day Derek was back at Erica and Boyd’s alpaca ranch with a mildly disgruntled Cora and three of his most cuddly and people socialized goat kids in tow, along with bundles of his home spun yarn
"I decided that I need to take a page from your playbook to stay competitive with whoever this joker is, and lure them in with cute animals. And to really make sure, we’re having a knitting party to dress my little guys here to the nines. I’m on sweaters, you and Cora are on accessories, and Boyd is going to look at us like we’re crazy but get us refreshments because I can already see you’re totally on board with this," Derek said to Erica as the baby speckled goat he was holding nuzzled his shoulder.
"You want lemonade or iced tea baby?" Boyd asked with a sigh as Erica’s eyes lit up, visions of goat sized knit caps obvious in her eyes.
stiles can’t help that his knees go weak at the sight of those goats in sweaters
you got it swingsetindecember!
Stiles was ready to go on the offensive. He had his most delectable cheeses ready to be sampled, Kira had helped him bake homemade crackers, and Scott, the kind generous soul that he was, had let Stiles raid his garden to have some fresh berries to accompany the cheeses as well.
He was set, he was primed for battle, nothing would distract him from his goal….
Nothing except the painfully adorable goat kid, wearing a painfully adorable knit sweater and knit cap ensemble in the space between his and his arch nemesis’ booth.
"Awww, you look just like Brie when she was a kid," Stiles said crouching down as the kid affectionately head butted his knees.
He heard a voice calling out as he continued to appreciate both the goat and the whimsical images of bubbles on the sweater.
"Dammit Cora, you did not lose Sandy before we’ve even finished setting up!"
The voice was soon followed by footsteps, and when Stiles looked up from the kid at last, he realized his face was at the crotch level, a very nice crotch mind, of a very attractive and fiercely eyebrowed and stubbled man.
A very attractive and fiercely eyebrowed and stubbled man wearing a ‘Hale’s Natural Goat Milk’ shirt.
Stiles was conflicted on multiple levels to say the least.
BRIE! HE NAMED HIS GOAT BRIE!!! AH
stiles can’t help but give the goat some fruit <3